We named our party play list daddy issues
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
