taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
