help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
