Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Drake has all the answers
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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