i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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