My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Bring me that man meat
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
