Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize