..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
