if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
soo... how was my night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
