I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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