he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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