There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
