how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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