Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Four minutes until I can fart!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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