I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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