Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
