i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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