I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
