Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
