a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
