): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
