I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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