omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
