i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize