you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
