He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
