you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize