he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
