what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
