Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
