Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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