this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
