I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
