apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
