we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
