FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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