tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
