Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
