Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
