Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
