I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He has the fingertips of a God
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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