i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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