On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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