North Korea, Best Korea!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
