I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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