but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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