dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
