I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize