we're blogging at a bar
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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