Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
