I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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