i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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