We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
