Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think your dad took our porno
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
