Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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