Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
