Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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