I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
