she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
