She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
