Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
