I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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