i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
