No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
are you so shy because you have an std?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
