He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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