Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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