My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
