You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dick very happy bro
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
